I just got home from the dentist. After a couple of decades my favorite ivory sculptor has started to replace my old fillings. So out with the metal and in with the nice white fillings. At this moment the numbness of the sedation slowly drains away, unfortunately. And in the wake of numbness comes the pain. The pain is no surprise because the whitecoated tooth fairy of mayhem worked on my molars like a wrecking crew on an old skyscraper. Maybe it was better if I hadn’t called him the toothy construction worker before I sat down in his chair of despair.
Anyway, I am a dude, so I have to prove that I can withstand pain to any degree. Dudes are just like Jedi knights, they can make the pain go away with just their minds. And for every dude this feat works different, but always with the same results; it makes the pain go away by thinking devoutly of something else.
In my case I can make pain go away when I think about (don’t laugh yet): farms.
When I am in pain I just transport myself mentally to a farm and think about fields of grain, chickens, eggs, pigs, cows, potatoes and of course crops from the land.
And when I think about this, the pain immediately becomes less.
But the biggest mind trick to definitely make the pain go away is to transform the things I think about.
When the fields of grain become bread, pigs transform in fresh slices
of bacon, potatoes turn to crispy chips and the cows become pastrami on my mental command, the pain is already almost gone.
Then, as a final thought, I combine all the transformed farm things and I think up a club sandwich.
Not the average club sandwich that you can find here. No, I must have a really mighty, dudey club sandwich that will keep my mind (and belly) occupied for the next few hours.
Trust me, it’s a really great Jedi mind trick that blows away any degree of pain and soothes the savage beast in every dude.
Club sandwich the Dude way
- 6 nice slices of bread
- 2 thick fresh slices of bacon
- 4 slices pastrami
- 2 chickenfillets
- 2 eggs
- 2 tomatoes, thinly sliced
- Some lettuce or arugula
- 2 tbsp fine aïoli or garlic mayonaise
- 2 tsp honey
- 1 tsp smoked and powdered paprika (Piment)
- Bag of salted chips
- 2 wooden skewers
- Rub the bacon slices with salt and pepper or with your favorite mix of spices . Bake the bacon in a grillpan or on the BBQ until crispy. Roast the slices of bread for about two minutes in a toaster.
- Rub the chickenfillets with the smoked paprika and beat with a rolling pin until they are evenly thick (about 0.5 centimeter). Use two sheets of cling film around the fillets when beating the chicken. Cook the flattened fillets in a hot and slightly oiled frying pan until they are done. Fry the eggs (one at a time) in a second frying pan. You can also use boiled eggs if you don't feel like frying an egg.
- Make up the club sandwich in the following order: slice of bread, aïoli, lettuce or arucula, chickenfilllet, 2 slices pastrami, fried egg, slice of bread, some lettuce, thick and crispy bacon, teaspoon of honey, sliced tomato, slice of bread.
- Pin the sandwich down with a skewer through the center and to give it the final dudey touch put a small cocktail sausage on top of the skewer in stead of an olive. Serve on a big plate and drape that crispy chips around the sandwich and a Chinese wit a white hat on the side.